[ALUG] Time of laughter before long weekend!!

[Ismail Settenda]

F.Y.I

----

** **

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important
meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,
'Father in heaven, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will
go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up the Irish
Whiskey!' ****

Miraculously, a parking place appeared. ****

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.' ****

** **

** **

Walking into the bar in ****Cork**** , Mike said to Charlie the bartender,
'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.' ****

'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?' ****

'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.' *
***

'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?' ****

She said, 'Come out from under the bed, ye wee yellow baistird.' ****

** **

** **

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking
buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. ****

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their
upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by
grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his
rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
especially painful. ****

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his trousers, and
looked in the hall mirror to see that the cheeks of his arse were cut and
bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began
putting on a Band-Aid as best he could wherever he saw blood. He then hid
the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
****

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and arse
and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. ****

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?' ****

Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?' ****

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the
broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood
trailing through the house, it could be your snoring in the night and those
bloodshot eyes, but mostly ...... it's all those feckin' Band-Aids stuck to
the hall mirror!!****

** **

ENJOY YOUR LONG WEEK END!!****

** **

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